Good (Or Bad) Parenting Advice: Schedules

There are many lines of thought about how to properly parent infants. Do you schedule them or let them have control? Naps? Pacis? People comment all the time "Wow, does she usually sleep this much?" "Is she hungry?" "Doesn't she take a pacifier?" "Does she sleep through the night? You're so lucky!" So now, I will answer all those questions, and add some of my opinions.

Scheduling
(NOTE: everything in this section only applies to older babies, I would never try to schedule a newborn. If you are thinking about scheduling, your baby will let you know when she's ready. And that might be never.)

When M was about 2 1/2 months, she became pretty miserable. She cried a lot, and would try to take her paci, but was too miserable to even enjoy that. In desperation, I googled. I decided that I would try a schedule with her. Both of our lives changed.

Her schedule is based off the Baby Wise principles, even though I've never read the book. She wakes up, nurses, then plays for as long as she can until she get tired, which is usually 1.5 hours after she wakes up. (This time will increase naturally the older she gets.) During her playtime, she rarely ever cries. (This is crazy, coming from the queen of tears.) When she does start crying, I know it's naptime, so I lay her down, give her a kiss, and walk away. No paci, no rocking to sleep. Yes, she cries during this process, but normally it's 2 minutes or less. She sleeps 1.5 to 2 hours (I usually have to wake her up), then we start the process over.

There are several reasons why this works for us.
1. She doesn't need to nurse to fall asleep. In fact, the only thing she needs to fall asleep is herself. This is great because that means anyone can put her down: daddy, grandparents, babysitters... more freedom for us!
2. She NEEDS the consistency. When she wakes up she knows exactly what will happen. I feel like this gives her confidence in me and in her little world. When her schedule gets off, she's not a happy camper. I don't think the schedule created this, I think this is just naturally the way she is.
3. It helps me understand her needs better. By looking at where she is in her cycle, I can tell if she's crying because she didn't get enough to eat, if she's bored, or if she's tired. It makes me feel more confident as a mother, and, once again, I think it makes her more confident in me.
4. She sleeps through the night. And by that I mean 8+ hours. I try not to let her go more than 9 because I don't want my milk supply to drop. But the very day we started her schedule, she slept through the night. Coincidence? I think not.

Now, I am not saying that this would work for everyone. This is just what works for us. I've heard that scheduling babies can lead to them not thriving because they don't get enough food, but I actually think she's thriving a lot more on a schedule than she did when we fed on demand, both weight-wise and cognitively. Once again, this is just what works for us.

Pacis
Yes, M loved her binkie. Binkies are great for newborns, since they have such a huge need to suck. But they are able to learn how to soothe themselves sometime around 3 months. I finally did away with the binkie because I got sick of her waking up every time it fell out and having to go put it back in every 15 minutes. Yes, it was a struggle for about 2 days while she figured it out, but I'd much rather struggle a little now than a lot when she's a toddler and can remember that she used to have a paci but now she doesn't. I also realized later that I had been using it as a crutch. Every time she cried, I would automatically go for the binkie instead of trying to fix the problem that was making her cry. Enter the schedule to help us out. Maizie, and binkie-addicted newborn, has been binkie-free for a whole month now, and much happier for it. My mom even noticed the difference.

So, that's that. My limited parenting experience.